The process of relational therapy...showing up as a person first.
In my work across a variety of sectors, I often come across those who feel disconnected, misunderstood and unseen. I try to hold in mind that, as a fellow human, it is far more connecting and healing, before inviting opportunities for learning or toolkit-building, to show up and deeply listen to the human in front of me. Allowing us to slowly and organically grow a therapeutic relationship which feels welcoming, safe and accepting, within which we can begin to introduce moments of curiosity and growth. This, simple as it may seem, can feel transformative, particularly when my clients have learnt, through their earliest relationships with caregivers and even professionals who were in positions of power, that their needs, voices and autonomy were not a priority. They can take time and space to gradually experience a new way of relating, which feels equal and authentic, with no need for old, learnt patterns and habits around self-protection and masking, to belong. Their bodies have the chance to sense, even before their minds have fully understood, that they are safe, welcome and contained. Much as insight and meaning-making have their place in the therapeutic journey, it is my experience that when we focus on slowly growing a felt-experience of safety and realness, inviting the whole person to show up, as they are, this is when the magic happens, and new ways of connecting can begin.