Making Mistakes
Over the last few days, I've been reminded once again that, as a human, there will be moments when I feel overwhelmed, make mistakes, and have to apologise or create repair. I have noticed that there can be a moment, within this experience, when I become self-critical, or even lean into catastrophizing. Putting myself down, thinking in sentences that begin with 'always' or 'never', instead of acknowledging that this was one situation, and does not colour every single aspect of me.
In these moments, I find it helpful to lean into my somatic training, noticing and allowing space for the physical and emotional reactions in my body, the anxious feeling in my chest and the instinct to withdraw. Reminding myself of the resources which have been helpful to me in the past, to support my body, thoughts and emotions to reconnect to a state of settling, compassion and self-acceptance. I might take a pause to notice the negative, all-or-nothing thinking I can tip into, like "I always make mistakes" or "no one else would have done that", and try to broaden my mindset into something less rigid, which can allow the grey areas. Reframing my thoughts towards something more balanced and real, such as "I made a mistake, but I can find a solution and this will probably become a good learning opportunity for me".
If you've also experienced a moment of rigid, 'black-and-white' thinking, seeing only the shadowy, sticky parts of yourself, and forgetting the aspects that are lighter and more fluid, I invite you to try to reframe this moment too. How could you hold space for both the dark and the light, in this situation? Not maximising or minimising either side, but being with both of them. As it is often through this more open, broad and holistic way of seeing things, that we create a warmer, gentler and more authentic relationship to ourselves and others.