Landing in the Session
Before my counselling sessions, whether online or in-person, I like to give myself a few minutes to get comfortable, looking around and noticing my favourite things...the colour yellow, dim lighting, gifted objects and a hot cup of tea...so I feel full and ready for my client. When they arrive, I like to offer the same to them, inviting them to land before we move into whatever they are bringing that day. Taking a moment of pause to be present with how they are in that moment, how their body feels, what thoughts they notice, how their breath moves today.
If they find this hard, perhaps because they are still in a place of rushing and doing, or are feeling distracted, I may offer a short grounding practise to resource them. Creating space where they can slow things down, place their feet on the floor, notice their edges, and become more intentional, to help them create safety and feel ready for the session. If I know that my client enjoys resources like grounding and breathwork, I gently invite them to allow awareness to slowly move up the body, noticing any tension, any tiredness, any aches or pains. Expanding this to include the breath, noticing how it is flowing in that moment, not trying to force or change anything, just being with it. Perhaps imagining their inhale breath, sweeping up the body from the feet, moving up the legs, through the pelvis, expanding the stomach and the chest, moving up the back, the shoulders, into the arms, and down to the fingertips - inviting them to give them a wiggle or a stretch if they feel like it. Then imagining it expanding again over the shoulders, the neck, the jaw, noticing if there's any tension there, inviting it to soften and relax, as the tongue rests in the bottom of the mouth. Imagining the breath rising gently in a tide, washing up into the cheeks, behind the eyes, and right up into the ends of their hair.
I might suggest that they visualize their inhale breath as cooling and cleansing, in a watery or calming colour - perhaps a blue, or a green. Then I invite them to notice and be with the exhale breath, as it moves back down the same path, warming, softening, releasing, perhaps in a warming colour - like a yellow, an orange or a gold. We imagine it sweeping slowly back down the line of the body, bringing with it any worries, or tightness, or pain. We picture all these things moving down, through the soles of the feet and into the ground beneath, where it is absorbed and dispersed, in glowing embers and floating sparks, leaving my client lighter and freer.
I invite them to begin to expand their awareness back outwards, noticing the sounds in the space around them, again not reaching or forcing this, but simply letting the sounds come to them, then noticing where they land in the body. I slowly invite them to begin to bring their awareness back to this space here, between us, and to move their attention to the sound of my voice, then slowly to open their eyes when they feel able to.
My clients say that these type of grounding and centering practices at the start of their sessions, allow them to land and slow down, perhaps for the first time that day. They begin to feel more resourced and aware of themselves, and can then bring more intention and richness to whatever they were hoping to discuss in our session.
As a somatically-informed therapist, I not only use these moments of resourcing at the start of sessions, but also throughout, where it may be needed. Particularly if we are working with more painful material, and I notice that my client is beginning to become a little activated. I know that healing, processing and releasing can only happen where there is safety, so we ensure that we stay in an intentional rhythm throughout the work, called pendulation and titration, touching into important material, and touching away to resource. This gradually allows us to widen their tolerance for painful emotions and sensations, but in a way which is safe and never retraumatizing. I am led by what I notice in my clients as we move and shift within this rhythm, and hold in mind that different people like different resources. Some may enjoy grounding and breathwork, like the practise above. Others may prefer tools like self-contact, tapping, movement or richer visualisations.
I work with the language and preference of each client, making suggestions until we find the resource which feels right for them, that day. We often tend to end each session with a check-out, as well, where we notice how they have experienced the session, what threads have particularly resonated with them, and how they might want to explore further in future sessions.